Rabu, 27 Agustus 2014

You and Me versus The World, No More.


We hurt each other even in silent. We don’t need to say the words, our eyes were filled with pain already. Maybe it was love. Maybe it was lust. And maybe what hurt the most was the high expectation. The way we hurt each other just to show how we loved each other was tiring, wasn’t it? Memories fade as time goes by or gone, just like that, with no trace. But we always remember how it hurt. I hurt you. You hurt me more. Then we said goodbye when all we wanted to say was ‘forgive me’. The ego has landed.

I wanted to say ‘please stay’ but the words froze in my brain, leave me wondering: what did we do wrong? Maybe you will never know that… I’m falling endlessly. I’m falling hopelessly. You’re not there to catch me.

When you hugged me, it felt like I’ll always be alright. Now that you left, it feels like nothing will ever be okay. For example, I can never listen to Michael Buble anymore. His Home hurts too much since you’re not the home anymore. And you know what? I am never alone. Not when the thoughts of you always haunting me. I am never alone, but I am lonely. If only the ‘i love you’ is enough, we wouldn’t have to fear the night. Darkness is scary when you’re lonely.

Sometimes, many times late at night, these thoughts crossed my mind, that our love was like the burning cigarette. It didn’t last that long, and filled with poison. I’m addicted to it. And when I said I’m addicted to you, it means I’m addicted to love and the pain it brings. Even the falling leaf reminds me of us. We are that leaf. Fragile and falling hopelessly, inevitable.

And so I tried to runaway. But every road and street i ran to, always bring me back to the thought of you. I travel to forget us. But every city I go, I can only imagine sharing the view with you, while holding your hand. Every street, every road, every coffee shops remind me of you. I hide inside my heart, and you’re there too. You know what hurts the most? You’re happier with him than with me. It makes me think I’m not worth a penny. And, I remember how we talked about our future together. We did it often. Now you’re talking about the future with someone else.

I watched the sun set the other day, and I remembered when you whispered softly to my ear, that you loved me. You remember how we used to fight when i throw my towel everywhere? I’m doing it again, hoping you’d yell at me. Why didn’t you bring your love along when you left? Why did you have to leave it here and bleed me dry? No. That’s wrong. We bleed each other dry. We made each other cry. We were two fools in love. How I hope we still are. And maybe you already know this: Before you, healing a broken heart was as easy as one two three.

You don’t need to hate me for what I’ve done. I’m doing it right now. My heart is not broken. It’s no longer there. You took it with you when you left. I am an empty shell. I was there. You didn’t even care. At least I was there, and I saw your face. And that’s enough. If only i can read your mind, maybe i could make you stay. The only question ringing in my mind right now is: why do we hurt the one we care the most? No one has the answer.

Can we turn back the time? I want to freeze the moment you’re smiling at me. Or if i run to the wall and hit my head really hard, will it stop the pain of missing you? Look how pathetic I am now. I am crying. No, I’m not crying because I miss you so. I’m crying because i secretly hope the tears will wash away the pain.


You used to say ‘you and me versus the world, okay?’ Guess what? Now i’m alone against the world.

- Alexander Thian -

Kamis, 15 Agustus 2013

what do you expect by keep running away from almost everything?

Hai.. Hai !!
Blog ini udah lama gak kesentuh. Udah lama gak ‘nemu bahan’ buat di tulis. Karna selama ini semua begitu indah di jalanin secara nyata timbang di tulis gitu aja #tssaahhh #gaknyambung #yaudahlanjut.

Oiya, ngomong-ngomong soal judul, mungkin lo nanya, kenapa panjang banget sik? Iya, soalnya itu gua ambil dari pertanyaan @amrazing sebelum doi mulai twit-nya tentang Cancer. Dan gua cuma re-write aja apa yang udah di twit-kan si koko ke blog gua, karna gua adalah CANCERIAN *berkilauan* #banggabanget.


Ini nih kicauannya Ko @amrazing tentang Cancer yang gua re-tweet :
  • Before I start, let me ask you fellow Cancerians a question: what do you expect by keep running away from almost everything?
  • Ngomongin Cancer bisa panjang, nih. Soalnya, Cancer itu zodiak yang paling kontradiktif. Saling bertentangan gitu karakternya.
  • So, Cancer. Flirtatious, tapi takut komitmen. Seneng petualangan, tapi ya kepengin settle down. Jadi … kalian ini maunya apa? :p
  • Cancer itu 11-12 sama Capricorn, Gemini, Virgo, Pisces. Passive-agressive. Jinak-jinak merpati. Diuber kabur. Dicuekin mendekat.
  • Cancer. Kalo suka, akan flirty. Begitu ditanggepin, suka freak-out sendiri. Gimana kalo gagal? Gimana kalo screw-up? :)))
  •  Terus, begitu ada masalah, si Cancer suka mendadak menghilang. Nggak ada kabar. Menghilang dari teman, lari dari masalah.
  • Cancer itu moody gak? Iya, moody banget. Mood swing nya parah. Lagi ketawa-ketiwi bisa mendadak sedih. *lirik yang Gemini juga*
  • Cancer takut berkomitmen gak? Oh, ya sudah tentu. Pasti itu. Gak bisa dipegang, tapi kepengin serius, tapi takut.
  • Kalo Cancer lagi ada masalah, elo gak akan tau kecuali mereka cerita. Iya, para Cancer ini pinter ngumpetin emosinya.
  • Yang gue tau, ya … para Cancer ini susah move-on. Kenapa? Karena mereka juga susah diajak berkomitmen. Ehem.
  • Sahabat-sahabat gue yang Cancer jarang marah, karena faktor pinter ngumpetin emosinya. Tapi begitu marah… serem. Sumfeh.
  • So, you don’t want to piss off a Cancer. Bahaya. :))
  • Romantis. Pencemburu. Rada posesif, Cancerians are loyal. Very sensual.
  • Oh, Cancer juga sensi beudh. Bisa aja dia ketawa-tawa padahal tersinggung sama joke elo. (._. )
  • What about affection? Well, who doesn’t like affection, right? The thing is… they are too afraid to start, these Cancerians.
  • Because Cancer are easily hurt, they intend to hide beneath their shells. Their self defense mechanism are excellent.
  • Jadi, kalo mau deketin Cancer, pelan-pelan, ya. Coming on too strong, mereka akan kabur. Buat mereka penasaran, itu kuncinya.
  • Seperti Aquarius, Cancer juga jago baca karakter orang. Dan karena Cancer cenderung introvert, mereka suka simpan sendiri.
  • Bahkan sama sahabat terdekatnya pun, seorang Cancer nggak pernah benar-benar terbuka. Their emotions are like layers of onions.
  • When they feel like telling you their secrets, they will. Jangan maksa, dan percuma juga sih. Cancer gak bisa dipaksa-paksa. :))
  • So, that’s it for Cancer. They are loyal friends and lovers. Not easily open. Afraid of commitment. Susah move-on. They’re great. ^^
Panjang yah? Hahahaha… Ada bener dan enggaknya juga sih. Balik lagi ke orangnya masing – masing. Tapi sebagian sih, bener. Hahahhaa..Ciao~